It's Not About Me (or you, for that matter)
Saturday, September 23, 2017
I've been back at school for a mere nineteen days and God has already been doing so many cool things and I'm super stoked about it.
We live in a society that tells us that the most important thing is our own personal happiness, and we need to make sure that we're at our best, doing our best, feeling our best - living our best life. In a sense that's true I suppose, however we NEED God in order to even get close to living our best life.
I actually just had a conversation with a friend (literally, we stopped talking like five minutes ago), and he reminded me that God can do the most with my life when I admit to Him that I'm done with myself and with trying to be in control, and I submit to surrendering to His will alone and say that I want Him to take complete control and use me in whatever way He desires.
And yes, that may be scary, but it's the most exciting and satisfying life that one can live.
It was also really cool because the other day in chapel we had a speaker who was talking about Soli Deo Gloria (glory to God alone), and God spoke through that speaker and straight into my heart.
The speaker actually quoted John 3:30, and said to everyone in the chapel service "Your life is not about you. It's about God. God doesn't need anything from you. In fact, all that you already have has come from God."
I was so amped up about that - tbh I'm still amped about it - and I practically preached about that chapel speaker's message later that day to one of my friends who doesn't go to my school anymore. I told her that I'd been asking God to constantly be reminding me that everything in my life has more to do with Him than it does with me.
So He did.
And I trust that He'll continue to.
I want my life to reflect how good God is. I want others to see how good, loving, merciful, and forgiving my Saviour is. I want the Lord to use me in any way that He so chooses, for His glory alone. Not so that I look good or look like I'm put together and know what I'm doing, but so that His glory is seen.
I am filled with the most joy, peace, and satisfaction when God is the One being glorified. That, my friends, is how you can live your best life.
Soli Deo Gloria.
A big thing that God has been constantly pointing out to me that might not actually seem like a really cool thing, is that life is really not about me.
At all.
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| Source: Julio Casado; unsplash.com |
It's not about you either, and I'm not going to apologize for saying that. Because it's true.
In God's Word, in John 3:30, it says that:
"He must become greater, I must become less."And that's what I'm striving to remember at all times.
We live in a society that tells us that the most important thing is our own personal happiness, and we need to make sure that we're at our best, doing our best, feeling our best - living our best life. In a sense that's true I suppose, however we NEED God in order to even get close to living our best life.
I actually just had a conversation with a friend (literally, we stopped talking like five minutes ago), and he reminded me that God can do the most with my life when I admit to Him that I'm done with myself and with trying to be in control, and I submit to surrendering to His will alone and say that I want Him to take complete control and use me in whatever way He desires.
And yes, that may be scary, but it's the most exciting and satisfying life that one can live.
It was also really cool because the other day in chapel we had a speaker who was talking about Soli Deo Gloria (glory to God alone), and God spoke through that speaker and straight into my heart.
The speaker actually quoted John 3:30, and said to everyone in the chapel service "Your life is not about you. It's about God. God doesn't need anything from you. In fact, all that you already have has come from God."
I was so amped up about that - tbh I'm still amped about it - and I practically preached about that chapel speaker's message later that day to one of my friends who doesn't go to my school anymore. I told her that I'd been asking God to constantly be reminding me that everything in my life has more to do with Him than it does with me.
So He did.
And I trust that He'll continue to.
I want my life to reflect how good God is. I want others to see how good, loving, merciful, and forgiving my Saviour is. I want the Lord to use me in any way that He so chooses, for His glory alone. Not so that I look good or look like I'm put together and know what I'm doing, but so that His glory is seen.
I am filled with the most joy, peace, and satisfaction when God is the One being glorified. That, my friends, is how you can live your best life.
Soli Deo Gloria.
The Comfort Zone
Monday, September 11, 2017
Over the summer I came across a quote that says
Being someone who struggles with social anxiety on the daily, who doesn't like asking someone for their wifi password or where their bathroom is, who doesn't like walking into the full cafeteria at lunchtime by herself, life can be lowkey rough sometimes.
But I've been noticing this past week that God has so much cool stuff in store if I'm willing to obey Him, branch out, and do something that makes me feel awkward and uncomfortable.
Let me share a lil story with y'all.
Last night my school partnered with two local churches and had an evening church service in a local park. I believe this initiative was started in my freshman year, and I've attended this service each year. But as soon as it's over, I usually head back to the safe comfort zone-y bubble that is my school's campus, and then go about my evening.
Not so last night.
One of my friends from school is a member of one of the local churches that my school partners with for this initiative. And the whole point of this initiative is for these three institutions to band together to love on the local community. So my friend invited my roommate and I to come and hang out with the young adults group from his church.
That doesn't sound so awkward and uncomfortable, does it?
It was awkward and uncomfortable when my roommate and I (who drove separately from our friend who invited us) stopped to get food at Wendy's and after ordering our food, went to sit down with about five people that we didn't know - from that church - tell them that we were from the Bible college, and then have a conversation.
It was awkward and uncomfortable when my roommate and I parked her car, walked up the driveway of a random guy - again, from that church - knocked on the door of said random guy, and then proceeded to walk into a living room full of young people of whom we only knew two.
BUT.
The evening was so much fun! My roommate and I spent the car ride home talking about how awesome it was that immediately after the church service about loving on the local community, we went to someone in the community's house, loved on the people there, and were loved on right back. Honestly, I was floored when I commented, "Thank you for letting two random girls just come into your house." and someone responded: "You're not random girls! We're brothers and sisters in the family of God." And everyone else in the room responded with something to the same effect. It was an amazing feeling.
I'm thankful that God is really really really pushing me out of my comfort zone this year - and it's only been one week! Legit, my comfort zone called me up last night, asking me to return home to the safety and warmth of the bubble. But I hung up.
God is doing some really cool things, and I can't wait to see what the rest of these eight months have in store. All I have to do is be willing to trust God, and be willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when I try something new.
"You can only grow if you're willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new."I've been at school for exactly a week now and let me say, I feel that quote SO much.
Being someone who struggles with social anxiety on the daily, who doesn't like asking someone for their wifi password or where their bathroom is, who doesn't like walking into the full cafeteria at lunchtime by herself, life can be lowkey rough sometimes.
But I've been noticing this past week that God has so much cool stuff in store if I'm willing to obey Him, branch out, and do something that makes me feel awkward and uncomfortable.
Let me share a lil story with y'all.
Last night my school partnered with two local churches and had an evening church service in a local park. I believe this initiative was started in my freshman year, and I've attended this service each year. But as soon as it's over, I usually head back to the safe comfort zone-y bubble that is my school's campus, and then go about my evening.
Not so last night.
 |
| Source: Aaron Greenwood, unsplash.com |
That doesn't sound so awkward and uncomfortable, does it?
It was awkward and uncomfortable when my roommate and I (who drove separately from our friend who invited us) stopped to get food at Wendy's and after ordering our food, went to sit down with about five people that we didn't know - from that church - tell them that we were from the Bible college, and then have a conversation.
It was awkward and uncomfortable when my roommate and I parked her car, walked up the driveway of a random guy - again, from that church - knocked on the door of said random guy, and then proceeded to walk into a living room full of young people of whom we only knew two.
BUT.
The evening was so much fun! My roommate and I spent the car ride home talking about how awesome it was that immediately after the church service about loving on the local community, we went to someone in the community's house, loved on the people there, and were loved on right back. Honestly, I was floored when I commented, "Thank you for letting two random girls just come into your house." and someone responded: "You're not random girls! We're brothers and sisters in the family of God." And everyone else in the room responded with something to the same effect. It was an amazing feeling.
I'm thankful that God is really really really pushing me out of my comfort zone this year - and it's only been one week! Legit, my comfort zone called me up last night, asking me to return home to the safety and warmth of the bubble. But I hung up.
God is doing some really cool things, and I can't wait to see what the rest of these eight months have in store. All I have to do is be willing to trust God, and be willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when I try something new.
New-ish Beginnings
Friday, September 8, 2017
On Monday I moved back to school for my fourth and final year of my Bachelor's degree.
ISN'T THAT CRAZY?! I try not to think too much about it because it overwhelms me to realize that I'm going to be walking across the stage in eight months, and in twelve months I won't be going back to school.
As much as this is my fourth time beginning a school year in Bible college, I feel newer this year - different. In a few different ways.
This year I have to do an internship in order to graduate; I'm going to be preparing for my graduation recital that I have to do in the spring; I'm not on student leadership this year; I'm a lot closer to God this year than I've ever been in my time at Bible college - or in my entire life.
ISN'T THAT CRAZY?! I try not to think too much about it because it overwhelms me to realize that I'm going to be walking across the stage in eight months, and in twelve months I won't be going back to school.
As much as this is my fourth time beginning a school year in Bible college, I feel newer this year - different. In a few different ways.
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| Source: Christian Joudrey - unsplash.com |
Although classes started yesterday, I don't have a class until Monday, but I've already been doing some tasks for my internship. That anxious feeling and thoughts of 'you're too inadequate and unqualified to do this' have already started plaguing my mind. This past summer, in preparation for my internship, I spent a lot of time in prayer, asking God to teach me how to be patient, kind, and gracious towards myself. The entire point of an internship is to learn! I'm not expected to be super adequate and qualified the first time I step into the office and have to call three different companies to order music. As my internship supervisor told me the other day "Interns are a lot of work, but eventually they're helpful." I lowkey wanted to be offended, but that man is wise, and he had a good point.
Having to prepare for my graduation recital is another thing that fills my soul with great anxiety. (I've talked about this in previous posts, but I totally used to talk about dropping out before my fourth year so I wouldn't have to do my recital [or internship].) But once again, I've been learning anew about the power of prayer and bringing God into every aspect of my life, asking Him to strengthen me for every task.
Being a lot closer to the Lord this year is something that has definitely felt like a new beginning. In conversations that I've been having on campus (and also at Starbucks), I've found myself talking a lot more about God and how I've seen Him working in my life, and strengthening my faith even in the face of trials, doubts, and confusion over the course of the past four months. I've been recognizing the truth and necessity of John 3:30, realizing my life is much more about Christ and His story for me, and less about how "adequate" and "qualified" I look to other people. (The verse says:)
"He must become greater, I must become less."
My personal theme for my fourth year is one of going out of my comfort zone and stretching myself beyond what I believe I'm capable of doing. My internship is a huge example of that in and of itself, and I'm sure I'll write many a blog post about it over the next eight months. Plus I'm also doing a course on public speaking this semester (as an elective, might I add), and y'all should know that that's something I'd never, ever make myself do. Except for now apparently, because I'm a whole new person amiright?
Since I walked through the doors of this school when I was seventeen years old, I've never felt that I'd be good enough to be an intern, lead musical worship, conduct a choir (and possibly an orchestra), and whatever else interns have to do. But what I've been learning over the summer leading up to my internship is that although I am inadequate, the Lord is capable of equipping me with strength, peace, and the ability to do whatever task He has laid out for me to do. All praise, honour, and glory goes to Him!
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