I'm always entertained by the fact that I find myself telling my Christian friends that I trust God, and that I believe He'll always provide for me, when deep down I'm actually worrying about where I'll get the money to pay off my Visa bill, or how I'll muster up the courage to have a difficult conversation with someone. Don't get me wrong; I logically trust God in the grand scheme of things, but at the same time I still find myself fretting about things that I should really be leaving in His hands.

Let me share with you a recent story of mine that has me thinking about trusting God and His provision.

I got an automated phone call a week or so ago from my bank, telling me that my credit card had been compromised, and I was to contact my bank in order to get a new card. I was a little bit shocked at first, but then I stopped thinking about it because my mind was on the recent CRA scams, and since the call I received was automated, I thought 'maybe it's not legit'.

A couple hours later I was online, trying to buy some sheet music for my voice lesson. I had completely forgotten about the phone call I'd received, so I was going through with my Visa transaction as I normally would. Once I hit "complete", a message came up saying something to the effect of "Your credit card is invalid. Please contact your bank." It was in that moment that I really started to worry; I realized that the automated phone call I had gotten a few hours earlier was legit. Good thing I listened the whole way through and didn't hang up because I thought it was a scam.

Long story short, I called my bank and got everything sorted out. Before they could cancel my Visa, I had to pay off my bill for the month, which left me a little bit short on money. So naturally, I started to worry about that. I suddenly remembered that my mom had told me that a government cheque had come in the mail for me the day before. While it's always fun to get money from the government, I hadn't actually thought anything of it, but when I was lowkey short on money, I realized that it was a subtle way in which God was reminding me of His provision no matter what I needed.

As I shared this story with one of my apartment mates, I was reminded of the passage in Matthew 6:25-34 which says:

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or "What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

It's so awesome to step back from the worries of this life, and take note of the incredible ways in which God is constantly providing for the things that we need! He is truly awesome.

Today marks one year since my Opa died. And earlier this week marked twelve years since my Grandma died. Needless to say, it's been a long week in that regard.

Today is also a part of the Thanksgiving long weekend. While my heart has been aching with the pain of my earthly losses, I recognize that I still have much to be thankful for. Simply to name a few; I have family and friends who love me, I have the funds to pay for school, I have a job, and I have the knowledge that both my Opa and my Grandma loved Jesus as their personal Lord and Saviour. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, but amidst that pain, I know that I will see my loved ones again, and when that time arrives, I'll never have to say goodbye.

At my Opa's funeral, I had the opportunity to give a eulogy. It was definitely one of the most difficult things that I've had to do, but it was something that was so important to me, and I'm grateful that I was able to do that. Planning what I was going to say took me quite awhile, and I'm not sure I can concisely come up with something else, so I'm going to take this time to share that eulogy with you.



{October 13th, 2015}

The man who we are all here honouring today is a man that I could talk to you about for hours. But seeing as he was quite remarkable, others want to talk about him as well so I’ve been given only a couple of minutes. Now, I could spend these minutes telling you about the hard worker that he was, or how much he cared for his family, both of which are true, but I’ve chosen to share a couple of personal memories that are simple but that I will carry forever, and that I’d like you all to know too.

When I think back to my childhood with my Opa, I remember countless Sunday mornings sitting on the far side of the church with him and my brother. When it came time for the offering, I remember Opa giving both Eric and me two toonies; one of them was for the offering plate, and the other one was for us to keep. Considering this happened pretty much every Sunday, I’m sure you’d believe me when I say that I had quite a collection of toonies going on. As we grew older, he stopped giving us toonies, and my wallet has definitely been feeling that loss.

I sing on the worship team here at my church; over the years, I remember my Opa telling me after a service in which I had sung with the team, that he could hear me singing beautifully that morning. But my friends always tell me that you can’t really distinguish different people’s voices when the congregation is singing with the worship team, so I think my Opa was just trying to flatter me. To me, a compliment’s a compliment and I truly appreciated his constant encouragement throughout the years. He supported both my brother and me in everything that we did, with every choice that we made, and he was always proud of us.

Another memory that I have of my Opa is one that carried on right until the very end. I didn’t think much of this until I got a little bit older, but I started realizing that whenever Eric and I went out anywhere with him, he would always make sure to tell whoever it was that we came across that we were his grandchildren, and not only that, but we were his only grandchildren. When Eric and I visited our Opa in the hospice for the first time, I remember he was pretty quiet; he was content listening to Eric and my conversations. But when the nurse came in, he was very quick to introduce us and some of the things that he said were, “these are my grandchildren!”, “my only grandchildren”, and “they come to visit me a lot.” Whenever we would visit him, whether he was at home, in the hospital, or in the hospice, he would never let us leave without telling us how much he appreciated our visits.

In his eighty-nine years, my Opa was a very well-loved man. Since his passing, I’ve had different people tell me about how much they appreciated his stories, and his presence in their lives, in this church, and in his business. We will continue to love him, and although we miss him terribly now and we will for as long as we remain here, I can’t help but be excited for the next time we get to visit him. And I know that in Glory, I won’t ever have to worry about our visits ending.

This picture was taken during one of my Opa's hospital stays last summer {July 2015}